Darn TV

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?” Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and […]

A frickin’ elephant!

My five-year old students are learning to read. Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, ‘Look at this!  It’s a frickin’ elephant!’ I took a deep breath, then asked…’What did you call it?’ ‘It’s a frickin’ elephant! It says so on the picture!’ And so it does… ‘ […]

Ten Commandments

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’ Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

How much does your dad make?

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.’ The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a […]

Running Late

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, ‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!’ While she was runing and praying, she tripped on a curb […]

Wedding Day

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in white?’ ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’ The child thought about this for a moment then said, ‘So why is the groom wearing black?’

Little Johnny

A teacher in Elmira , New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to […]