Darn TV

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while
grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, Grandma,
how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that
Grandpa went to heaven?” Grandma
replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in
my bedroom and watch it all day long. The [...]

Walmart Greeter

A loud, unattractive, mean-looking woman walked into Wal-Mart with two
kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart greeter said pleasantly, ‘Good morning, and welcome to
Wal-Mart. Nice looking children you have there, are they twins?’
The loud woman stopped yelling and said, ‘Hell no, they ain’t. The oldest
one’s 9, and the other one’s [...]

$50 is $50

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Esther,I’d like to ride in that helicopter.’
Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, [...]

Nudist Colony

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.
The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, ‘Did you call for me?’
The man replied, ‘No, [...]

Old People

An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western
town one day. He’d been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey.
He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his
old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from [...]